Gods mercy

Ive got a praise! God is so good. Saturday was a great time of fellowship! And Sunday morning during praise I was hit with a great appreciation for Gods mercy, when I dont deserve it. When I fall, no matter how bad it is, He loves me no less!!! What an awesome and loving God we serve!!!! Just sayin ;-)

Bored with a lot on my mind.
People, work, ministry...
conclusions I can not find!

I seek and seek some more,
thoughts pass through...
but quickly hit the floor.

I don't see my dreams as a possibility.
my character, flaws, and sins...
they rob me of believability!

I know its a lie, a trick, a scheme.
The deceivers at my door...
God, he seems so supreme!

But thank you my Lord!
My Shepherd, Father, King!
Your kingdom will be restored!

To You be the glory!
Only You are worthy!
To be the Hero at the end of the story!

When dirts kicked up

I have to say, I get competitive when it comes to games and sports. While playing Pictionairy tonight, war broke out. I felt like one of my friends was egging me on. Pushing my buttons on purpose, and as I would get frustrated, I began to yell. I'm not perfect, I try hard to keep a good character. I try to have integrity, and patience. But I'm easily set off when I'm misunderstood, or I don't understand others, or people challenge my character... even when I try my best to be the best I can. Fingers were all pointed at me and my friend Shannon because we were both frustrated at things that were going down in the game. And that angered me even more because I felt like it wasn't fair. We get scolded for showing our frustrations, while the instigator is set free. I was wrong, we talked it out, and were not mad at each other. But I have to wonder, is my image ruined? I'm so glad that when they seen my faults, and my anger coming out... That when all was said and done, they still accept me. But its not cool that I'm so easily pushed to... I guess anger. But its more stress that comes out wrong. Maybe that's exactly what anger is. But I wonder how many friends and people, could see the way I act at my worse and still love me. Still be willing to play a board/card game, knowing I could go off. I feel kind of dirty, I guess I'm lucky that Jesus blood can wash it away. That His love is great, and if I were to die tonight, Id still be welcomed in His home. I'm not perfect, and I feel like people expect me to be... probably because of the way I try to carry myself. I yell, I sin, I'm messed up. But God uses the weak, the broken, the warn down. But I really wanna know, when all is said and done, who would stand by me?

I got to say, the beginning of last week was rough! I was worried that I had lost a friend. But God is amazingly good!!! The people that are in my life are such an amazing blessing!!! They always show me love, and I praise God for them. Going to God, He brought peace. The situation is still not figured out, I still may have lost my friend, but the fear is gone. Ive had such an amazing last week! And I have a lot to look forward to. Good people, good movies, parties, and food. And yes a much greater and epicly amazing, Heavenly Father :-) Praise be to Him!

Ive had a lot on my mind lately. Im struggling. I havent had a job for awhile now. Thats not even what bugs me. What really bugs me is I have no idea what to do. Where am I supposed to go? I want to go back to school...but I have no idea what I want to do, at all. I dont have a lot of passions, nothing to really show me, or give me an idea. With these thoughts baring down on me, I began to feel like more of a failure than ever before. And because of this I think things out way to much, read into things that arent true. Ive been getting frustrated over little things.
But I am thankful, God does bring comfort when I go to Him. I struggle to do it sometimes, but no doubt, Hes right there. Im thankful for His creation. Because its beautiful, its a place I can go and be one on one with my maker. Im thankful for friends that stick with me through this time. Im so sorry if Ive added stress. I am thankful because though Im honestly not liking life, I can still love life because of God. I had a neighbor when we were younger. I still lived in Colonie so I was probably in 2nd grade or so. She was an older lady, and she was one of the nicest people. But her grandaughter did something wrong. So Mrs. Clow punished her. And her grandaughter looked up, and said something along the lines of "Grandma, you dont love me any more?" Mrs. Clow replied "Honey, I dont like you right now, but Ill always love you." Now thats a pretty honest answer. But its a good one. I dont like my current position in life, I dont like my circumstances. But I love the fact that my Savior loves me, and "He will make a way where there seems to be no way!" He promises that there is a reason for all that we go through. If there wasnt, than He would use it anyways! He doesnt let any hurts go to waste. I love that there is hope. I love the blessings even in the hard times. Whether its hearing a friends voice, or watching a bird fly, and land in the cold water. It amazes me that they can still swim in the river and be ok. Even a little frog, hopping in front of me while Im working, it makes me smile. I love music, I love sports. I love college group, hopefully it will be named barf and gag. lol, Praise God for good times. Ive got to work on this one. But for real, praise God for the bad times. Lord it helps me grow, so thank you! I need to decide to cling to the good, and give Him the bad. I need to remember, that He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and He is soooooooooooooooooooooooo good at it! He is perfect! What a mighty and wonderful God we serve!

One brick, two brick, dark brick, light brick

There's so many things that I would love to post. But it would be a whole series, and I'm sure it would bore you to death :-P so Ill spare you, and tell you one story at a time.

I was at work last week, and in the beginning I had to go through old bricks, and find ones that could be reused. As I'm going through the bricks, I noticed that a lot of them, having been holding up the house sense 1790, were cracked and weathered. But here's the weird thing. I would see some bricks that I deemed unworthy to be used at first. "The crack is to big, or the light color shows weakness." Id say based on what I was told. But as I would hit the brick to actually test its strength, it passed. It wouldn't break.

However, there were other bricks, that I would have bet my sour patch kids :-P that it would have passed. It was dark colored, and not even the slightest of cracks on the outside. And with one hit, it shattered. I'm so glad to have been able to do the job, though it hurt my back. It was a blessing, and I hope it blesses any readers.

See I thought it was a perfect picture. There are many people that seem broken, perhaps when we look at them, we may think... this person cant be used. This person is no good. Perhaps, you look at yourself, and you come to that same conclusion. I'm to old, or to broken down, I'm worn out, not strong enough. You begin to buy into the lie, and you feel useless. But that is far from the truth!!!!!! When God is allowing the hammer to crash down, you will pass with flying colors in the end (should you give it all to Him). You, or the people that you see, no matter how they are now. Whether their bitter and angry, prideful and selfish, whatever you may see, that's only because they most likely don't know God, or are struggling with (truly, only God knows what), and they need His love. God can use each of us to build back up a wall, that makes His house, His bride come together!

Some people appear strong, and you look at them, without a doubt you say, "their so perfect, they have it all together!" When really, inside their so weak, and ready to crumble.

Whether, your the first, or the second "brick" we can all take peace. I recently read Psalms 27. I would highly recommend reading it! Heres some verses that stuck out to me:

Lets start right off with the first verse! "The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom Shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"

Even David, the King of Israel, knew where he stood. He knew even as a shepherd boy when he took out Goliath, that it was God. He knew that he really didn't half to fear anyone! He continues through to verse three:
"...Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident."

David is but one man, and he knew he could stand against a whole army, he knew that his God, his Father, his Shepherd (I like that, Gods a Shepherd's shepherd :-) was watching over Him. Gods a King's King to!!! Sorry, that's really cool to me, but anyways :-P We can stand strong no matter who or what our enemy is. We can be bold and confident, for we do not fight on our own! God is our strength. The only way we can fail, is when we try to take the enemy out on our own!!!

Next is verse 5:

"For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock."

Gods love is so amazing, and He can shelter us and give us rest in the secret place :-) "What a mighty God we serve, what a Mighty God we serve! Angels bow before Him, Heaven and Earth adore Him! What a Mighty God we serve!" And with all of His might, that endless fountain, also pours out peace and protection :-)

I came down to an interesting verse, vs.8:

"When You said, "seek my face," My heart said to you, "Your face Lord, I will seek."

I love it so much. And I'm in tears, because its sheer awesomeness. I know that Ive failed to seek Him so often. But God is so amazing, and He simply says, after all the failure "seek my face," that's all... We just have to seek Him :-) And what a joy and privilege it is to do so, to be allowed to!!! Praise God for His love and mercy! For His Word that has such joyful news in it!!!

The next verse, of course, does not fall short of sweet goodness :-) There seems to be an endless supply!!! Can I get a woot WOOT!!!! :-P Verse 10:

"When my father and my mother forsake me, Than the Lord will take care of me."

People will fail you, no ones perfect! But no matter what happens, when no one else is there, God still remains! Ready to take you in His arms, and be your support :-).

Now we come to the conclusion of this Psalm vs. 13-14:

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed. That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"

One of the hardest things to do, is to wait on Gods timing! To continue through the hard times, wondering when it will be over. But we are reminded and reassured of hope in the future. Look to God, and you will be strengthened. Don't look at yourself, the circumstances around you, just keep your eyes on Him :-) Rest assured, you are safe!

As a final and short note, I promise! Pastor preached a great message with a great illustration on Sunday. Its the final message in the "Inside out living" series. Please check it out at sonrisebible.org Its a goodie, and definitely encouraging! I apologize, its not up yet, but I encourage you to keep checking. The whole series was pretty good. And the first message is posted. I hope you are blessed by it!

Soooooo its been awhile. Ive been missing Bible Study, but Dan is back, so hopefully soon it will be starting up again :-) It was cool hanging out with Dan the other day. Went out for ice cream and than got Nichole and Shannon, and all of us went to see a movie. Than back for ice cream where Dan got soaked, Shannon was soaked and got stabbed with an ice cream cone. I went to defend Nichole, and got splattered with ice cream and milkshake, it was a mess! But good times. No worries, we removed all of the evidence :-P

Started my new job this week. Fell through a floor, but luckily my leg caught the joist. It hurt, but praise God, if I had gone all the way through, it could have been much worse. Its a good sized drop into a cement floor. But where Im working is an ooooollllldddd beat up house from 1790 that sits on a beautiful piece of property! The picture doesnt do it justice.


I was tearing down a wall, and as part of it fell, I thought it was pretty sweet! It was pretty much a perfect cross. So I leaned it against the wall