When dirts kicked up

I have to say, I get competitive when it comes to games and sports. While playing Pictionairy tonight, war broke out. I felt like one of my friends was egging me on. Pushing my buttons on purpose, and as I would get frustrated, I began to yell. I'm not perfect, I try hard to keep a good character. I try to have integrity, and patience. But I'm easily set off when I'm misunderstood, or I don't understand others, or people challenge my character... even when I try my best to be the best I can. Fingers were all pointed at me and my friend Shannon because we were both frustrated at things that were going down in the game. And that angered me even more because I felt like it wasn't fair. We get scolded for showing our frustrations, while the instigator is set free. I was wrong, we talked it out, and were not mad at each other. But I have to wonder, is my image ruined? I'm so glad that when they seen my faults, and my anger coming out... That when all was said and done, they still accept me. But its not cool that I'm so easily pushed to... I guess anger. But its more stress that comes out wrong. Maybe that's exactly what anger is. But I wonder how many friends and people, could see the way I act at my worse and still love me. Still be willing to play a board/card game, knowing I could go off. I feel kind of dirty, I guess I'm lucky that Jesus blood can wash it away. That His love is great, and if I were to die tonight, Id still be welcomed in His home. I'm not perfect, and I feel like people expect me to be... probably because of the way I try to carry myself. I yell, I sin, I'm messed up. But God uses the weak, the broken, the warn down. But I really wanna know, when all is said and done, who would stand by me?

I got to say, the beginning of last week was rough! I was worried that I had lost a friend. But God is amazingly good!!! The people that are in my life are such an amazing blessing!!! They always show me love, and I praise God for them. Going to God, He brought peace. The situation is still not figured out, I still may have lost my friend, but the fear is gone. Ive had such an amazing last week! And I have a lot to look forward to. Good people, good movies, parties, and food. And yes a much greater and epicly amazing, Heavenly Father :-) Praise be to Him!