Tonight was definitely rough, but it was rough in a good way. We had a good dinner, with good friends, and good fellowship, with good praise, it was all amazing! My Pastor got up to speak and introduce Gary Vosberg who had just gone to China on a missions trip. Pastor spoke about how our country is in a bad spot, and the economy is hurting, and there is a lot of scared people. He talked about how we need to be the light. And he said, we need not worry though, cause we are founded on the solid rock! It was awesome, but than I imagined what it would be like, to be founded in the sand, on the oceans shore, where the waves can so easily rough up your world. And your left with no defenses, no ground to stand on, life threatened, and with no hope. I started to tear up. Than he introduced Gary, who got up to speak. And he was awesome, funny, and encouraging! But one thing that he talked about that hit me really hard, was through all the trials that he went through, he kept pushing through. And he got to the hotel, and he said to God, tired and warn out. "Lord, Im doing my best." he said God replied "I know you!"

Afterwards we had the Lords supper, and I had to leave. It was the first time that I had to leave. That hurt, and still does. I had to leave because I knew I wasnt right with God. I could not look God in the eyes, and say "Lord, Im doing my best." Ive definitely been so selfish with my time, doing my own thing, not being a light to the world! Please pray for me, that I would take a major stand, that I would stop my nonsense, and get in the fight. Next time, I want to be able to take a seat, and partake of the Lord's supper. I dont ever want to have to walk out again!